


A Little Privacy... Please.

by Bite_Coalhoof



Series: Critical Smut [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Nudity, Romantic Friendship, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:12:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bite_Coalhoof/pseuds/Bite_Coalhoof
Summary: During Episode 9x08 -The Gates of Zadash: After defeating various Gnolls and a Manticore with their temporary ally Shakäste our yet to be named party pairs off to seperate rooms for the night to recuperate. Nott attempts to create a Vial of Acid and Caleb resummons Frumpkin. Later that evening Caleb, unable to sleep, reviews his books and the gaudy depictions of genitalia that have mysteriously appeared (which unbeknownst to him were drawn by Jester).





	A Little Privacy... Please.

"There," Nott sighed with some relief, "it just needs to percolate now."

Without lookup up from his book Caleb casually asked. "Are you making coffee at zis hour?" Caleb turned the page, "You vill wake up everyone on zis floor with ze smell..."

"Not exactly." she replied, and so on went the night. 

Caleb lay on his side facing Nott so she could not see the focus of his interests. He was certain that these were not here earlier, how could he have missed them? Perhaps he was too distracted by the dog people to notice. All of the sketches appeared in margins and blank areas of the book and seemed freshly drawn. The first depiction to catch his eye was of a horrible creature with a penis on both ends. Not something he generally chose to look at but he appreciated the skill of the artist no less. Turning the pages further back he next found a well endowed tiefling woman in exotic attire servicing a human male with her tail. Another was of a woman pleasuring herself with what appeared to be an oversized sugar sweet on a stick. One drawing a little more curious than the rest appeared to be sketched in haste and resembled a nude half-orc but the genital area was drawn over as if the artist changed their mind mid-way.

While he reviewed the drawings Nott sat on the floor eagerly hovering over her chemistry equipment. Even with the feeling she had a successful batch in the making her patience was waning thin. It would likely be morning before the vial would be complete. She knelt clutching her hands between her knees. Heat emanated from the chemicals, bubbling and evaporating then distilling for collection. The process was painstakingly slow. Each drop collected and found its way around until one at a time it filled the vial. The thermal process seemed unbearable at moments but Nott in her excitement failed to feel the sweat wicking down her neck and down her back. 

"Nott," Caleb called in a calming tone.  
With her focus broken, she crackled "Ahh! Uh heh..."  
"Sorry... why do not you relax a little bit? You should not be zo close to zat stuff. It vill make you go blind."  
"Right right..." she begrudgingly agreed.

Now noticing the perspiration on her brow she pushed herself up to the wall and brought her knees to her chin to rest. The cool air of the outdoors easily traversed the shoddy exterior walls of the inn. She took great comfort on the chill she could feel through her threadbare clothing. Nott removed her mask from around her neck placed it aside recounting that she could not remember the last time she took it off completely. It was rare that she felt relaxed since she left Felderwin and her time in confinement only reinforced that experience. She didn't miss her clan but she did miss not being arrested just for showing her face. 

At that moment a light thud startled Nott and her eyes darted to the source. Caleb had fallen asleep. His book had fallen open to one of many pages of arcane notes within. She silently crawled beside his bedroll and rotated the book so she could view it. The majority of it was written in Zemnian but there were a few common notes. She flipped the page and jumped back a little "Oh gods..." The page depicted a large, overly detailed drawing of a well-endowed soldier taking a tiefling woman from behind in a hole that Nott was unaware could be used for such a purpose. "Is this what men look at all day?" she quietly mumbled. She noted the skill of the art much too fine to have come by Caleb's hand. She turned the page once more and a humble, smaller sketch caught her eye. It was a scene of a tavern. Two humans in a lovers embrace atop a table with he female above the male. She considered the sketch for a moment before closing the book.

Nott carefully returned tome and looked up to find Caleb was visibly aroused. He shifted in his sleep uncomfortably as the strain of his erection testified to the tailors stitching skill. "Well at least he wasn't looking at the butt one for that." she thought, grinning at her own joke. She felt it was an unusual custom sleeping in one's clothes but on the road it made sense. Wanting to comfort her friend without waking him she gently adjusted his pillow and gave him a light nudge so he would lay on his back. His legs splayed and allowed his regalia to loosen. Nott covered him with his coat and returned to her resting position against the cool wall. Her thoughts drifted between memories of old time wandered and the drawings in Caleb's books. She imagined the couple on the tavern table and experiencing the loving embrace of trust, something she never felt before.

With a slight jolt Nott woke tangled in her cloak and bandages. The warmth of her work had overtaken the room and left her a drenched mess pooling sweat beneath her. As her eyes came to focus she saw that her vial was still only half-full. Caleb continued to sleep with his back to her now. Nott carefully removed her bandages to allow them to dry and shed a few parts of her battle worn clothing. She knelt placing the bandages deliberately in a parallel lines to dry and wadded the scraps in her pack. A pleasantly warm draft found it's way to her balmy skin evaporating the moisture of her disturbed sleep.

Caleb groaned and mumbled unintelligibly in his sleep giving causing Nott to pause. He had become uncomfortably tangled in his bedroll and coat from the heat. Nott approached him and absentmindedly nudged him to lay prone again. She drew down his covering so he could get some air without consideration for her actions until she caught herself loosening his belt and unbuttoning his trousers. Caleb's pants had grown taught again. Her hand was frozen stunned at what she was doing. Her jaw dropped and her eyes darted between Caleb's sleeping face to the final button. With an unexpected burst of adrenaline, she loosened the last bastion of defense and his mass revealed itself stretching and growing gently as he dreamt.

Nott's mouth remained agape at her own audacity. She felt her hands had acted on their own but at the same time she was pleased with her actions. His entire length was present for her observation and though she certainly had seen genitalia before it was always an inadvertent demonstration. She noticed how much smoother he was than those of her own clan, though only a little larger, and in her close proximity detected a hint of a citrus. Atop sat a single glistening droplet of precum assuring that at this moment Caleb was under the influence of the imagery from his books. Nott shook her head thinking about what was happening. "Caleb would be extremely cross with me if he knew," she pondered, "I'll just cover him with a blanket and he'll think he undressed himself perhaps?" and with that she placed his coat back on top of him.

Nott pressed herself against the wall ashamed of her risky endeavor. She looked at Caleb and thought of how they had grown close and her desire to bond with him. A strange feeling came over her for betraying her friend's trust. There was no in looking she thought, but deeply she wanted so much to care for and please him as he did for her. She wasn't sure how to sort her feelings as Goblins did not tend to experience bonding outside of loose alliances. All this internal monologue made Nott queasy. She brought her knees up to rest her head again and wrapped her cloak around herself.

"Nott..." Caleb moaned, his throat dry.  
"Yes Caleb?" Nott replied sounding unusually calm.  
Caleb gestured to his nethers. "Have you done zis to me?"   
She answered defiantly, without raising her head. "Yes. Yes I have."  
He seemed to consider the answer for a moment. He leaned up on his elbows. "Do you not think I have not thought of these things before?"  
She gave a worried look to Caleb "Well I-I don't know....", she responded, then imitated him "Do I not think I have think of these things?"  
"Of course I have. We have grown close zees months and," he paused for a rare loss of words, "Well I am a lonely man but you have brought closeness I have not felt in some time. I think maybe..."  
She interjected, "That I want your penis?"  and flashed a toothy grin.  
"I was going to say that you feel the same but ya that also verks."

Nott stood and approached Caleb, leaving her cloak behind. The dim light from her alchemy kit highlighted her small, partially nude frame. Her deep olive skin glistened with a thin verdant silhouette. She brought her palm to Caleb and stroked him with a feather touch. He let out a light sigh. Their eyes met and Caleb followed her gaze to the tome aside his bedroll. Nott's voice quavered as she spoke. "Would it please you," she added with sincerity, "to do what the pictures in your book... do?" Caleb's face flushed slightly "I... don't know who drew those pictures but...", Caleb started only to be distracted by Nott caressing the tip of his cock. She drew his precum and stranded it between her thumb and forefinger. As their eyes met again she tasted his offering.

"Wait a second!", Nott exclaimed smacking her lips for emphasis, "This tastes like... pineapple? Where did you get a pineapple?"

"Well you know it iz just a wizard thing..."

Caleb sat up on the bed and motioned for Nott to sit next to him. She did and slowly reached over massaging his inner-thigh and feeling his warmth. Caleb opened his book and riffled through the pages. "Which one of these drawings did you like ze most?" Nott quickly riffled the pages until she reached the two human lovers. "Ya," Caleb smiled, "that iz a goot one." He took her by the waist and gently moved her closer to the foot of the bed and then stood up to remove his clothes. As he did he looked to Nott and noticed a change in her demeanor. "I am sorry have I done something to upset you?" Nott whispered in an unsteady tone, "No I just...",  she hesitated and looked away ashamed. "Do you want me to... wear the mask?" Caleb knelt as he had done many times before though a bit more precariously due to his engorged member. "Never." he said.

Moments later Nott found herself straddling her traveling companion of these recent times, pushing herself upon his abdomen. She rubbed herself on his shaft unsure if she would be able to accommodate him. "I am just nervous I won't be able to accommodate you!" she admitted, paraphrasing a line she once read in a terribly written dirty tome. Caleb raised his brow, "I am not even big for human standards." he offered quizzically. "Oh you're not big at all." Nott acknowledged biting her tongue with a smirk. Caleb sighed, "Ve are going to have to verk on this." and raised his hand in an exaggerated facepalm. With that, she slid down his shaft taking him in his entirety. Instinct overcame them both in a rhythm of sexual bliss. Caleb took caution to steady himself to reduce the noise from the room but Nott seemed less concerned. "We must keep it down..." Caleb mustered before another jolt of ecstasy spasmed through him. Nott moaned and pushed a bit of her facial bandages in her mouth to stifle herself. 

She continued with each thrust he seemed impossibly deeper inside than the last. Every movement gave her a relief of an ache she didn't know she had until this moment. Each groan and labored breath more satisfying as the last. He attempted to guide her hips but now found himself intoxicated by her pleasure and unable to do much else but caress her gently. An eternity seemed to pass when Nott changed her technique grinding Caleb deeply between her legs. "Oh gods..." she cried at risky volume. Caleb would have shushed her for had he not been concentrating on his own impending orgasm. "Nott... please... please I am..." and with that she brought herself around him firmly, straining every muscle in her body as Caleb released everything he had into her. She tightened and came, bucking wildly before she could control herself to a shivering quiver. He continued to pulse relentlessly until collapsing with a completely ridiculous smile on his face. Nott feigned disgust at Caleb and suggested: "Maybe you should wear the mask next time..." Caleb gave her an exhausted glare before they both stifled laughter causing their combined essence to dribble to the shoddy bedroll.

Nott felt the expenditure of feverish passion catch up and she fell aside in Caleb's arms. A few minutes passed as they both listened to their surroundings. Outside various insects sounded and there was a slight breeze but nothing seemed to stir within the building. Nott held her ear closely to Caleb's chest and listened to his pounding heard become steady. She looked to him with a beaming with satisfaction and quietly asked. "Do you think anyone heard us?"  
  
"If anyvone says anything..."  
"It might be best..."  
"Ya..."

Nott tightened her hold on Caleb nervously. "Do not worry", Caleb offered with a comforting tone, "even if they heard noises we are always up to things. I vill say it was Frumpkin or..." Nott interrupted briskly, "What if they heard, you know,  _specific_  noises?" Caleb gently touched Nott's chin and brought her eyes to his. "I will say... I will look at them and say," Caleb brought two fingers in his eyes pointing at them and then to an imaginary adversary. "Shut up you big pervert! That iz dizgusting she iz a sizter to me!" He looked at her with authority and nodded his head. "Okay Caleb... I trust you." Nott nestled into Caleb as they had done before for warmth but this time as lovers.

**Author's Note:**

> Nott clarifies to the party in Episode 123 that she is 'of childbearing age' as such she is an adult goblin. For more stories check out my [Critical Smut](https://archiveofourown.org/series/963588) series.


End file.
